Insemination Logistics
In addition to all of the other things on your list to talk about with your sperm donor, make sure you add insemination logistics. Here are a few things to think about:
Where do you want to do the insemination? Will you be doing it at the Fertility Clinic? Do you want to do it at home? Or do you want it to be a neutral place?
Who is involved? If either of you are partnered, do your partners want to be involved and if so, how?
If you are inseminating at home, how do you want to get the semen? Will you pick it up, will he drop it off? Will he ejaculate at your place? Will you inseminate at his place? One couple I saw on television had tea together after! Knowing some basic information about sperm longevity will help you make these decisions.
Remember that sperm can live outside the body in a sterile container for up to 4 hours, but insemination within an hour is best. Also, exposure to air and light affect them, as well as temperature changes. Keep all of these things in mind to create your insemination plan.
Get the right equipment. Sterile containers for him, and syringes (obviously without the needle) for you. You can get these at the drug store – just ask the pharmacist. The size you will need depends on the amount of semen he produces (I have found 10ml to be a good size, most days).
Pre-Insemination Logistics
How will you keep each other in the loop? Remember that it’s best if he doesn’t ejaculate for at least 48 hours before you start inseminating. Chances are you will inseminate about 3 times a cycle, likely 24 hours apart, so you want at least the first time to be optimal. In that case, you’ll want to give him a heads-up of when that might be. Consider getting in touch on Day 1 of your cycle (and with an idea of when you usually ovulate) so he can plan.
Be clear about your expectations for the insemination – are you in touch more often the closer you get to ovulation? How will you do that: Telephone? Text? Email? How flexible are your schedules?
Finally, think about the experience you want to create for yourself. Especially if you are doing this alone, what can you do for yourself to make this a special occasion? It can feel mechanical (especially if you are doing it alone) but it is still a magical thing – you’re making a baby! We recommend finding some way to remember that during the process.
LGBT Fertility journeys